Fidgeting

I fidget too much. I was reminded of this after kyja got a webcam, and we started skyping seeing each other, and she got frustrated because i move too much. I don't know why this is. Apparently i also constantly wriggle in my sleep. Maybe i am just the eternal grade one child who can't sit still.

And this has implications for meditation.

Tonight Jessica is out, so i read a psalm and meditated for about 10 minutes, which is not a long time, but i think meditation is like running, and you have to train, and work your way up and can't do too much too soon or else you'll pull your spiritual muscle (as opposed to my gym muscles, which are increasingly huge) or rip a tendon in your god place or something. But i also think this is an excuse i just made up.

Anyway, it is really difficult when you can't stop moving. I have thought about taping my hands to my legs while meditating, but this seems extreme. I could maybe take some valium, but i don't know where to get some, and all the students i know who've gotten chinese medicine for things like bronchitis have gotten pills that give you hand tremors, so i don't think that would help.

So tonight i am seeking advice on how to sit still, without physical restraints or drugs. Any suggestions?